dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize