He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
