I just pynch a tree in the face
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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