you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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