Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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