We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
