Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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