Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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