i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
