Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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