Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize