so explain again why im purple
no
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize