On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
