I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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