So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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