shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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