I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
