Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
