His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize