idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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