Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize