You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
