Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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