Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
