It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
