It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
