i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
