Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
