If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
