Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
