I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
