He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
