I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
