come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
