Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We are two peas in an std pod
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize