Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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