you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
