Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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