He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
