I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
COCAINE IS GR8
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
