Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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