What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
