she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
