when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
