I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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