what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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