So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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