were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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