So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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