I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
