So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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