Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Houston, we have a blender
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
