Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm always down for nudity.
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