I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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