she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude. I can hear the air.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
