direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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