Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
