I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
