You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think I am morally bankrupt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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