Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
