Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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