I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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