i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The feeling are messing with the penis
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
