after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
