so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
