I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
