if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
