I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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