i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
