if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
