Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
